Rumours have been flying recently about Jesus Christ’s newly-found love of snowboarding.
Last week, God’s messenger on Earth was reported to have used his Blackberry to click through several online stores of such brands as GNARcore in search of his perfect set up.
But, like the hippie he is, he finally opted for a EcoCore Flying-Vegan 142 (yeah, he’s actually smaller than he sounds in the Bible!) with banana rocker and extra pop.
One unnamed source closes to Jesus says “Ever since he first tried snowboarding while on an 18-30s holiday in Andorra, Jesus won’t stop talking about pow, back lips and being stoked on things. It’s actually getting a bit tedious, far more than all that love-thy-brother gay shit he usually goes on about.”
BroCore Outerwear founder and crazed Jesus fan, Corey Shameless, was so thrilled by the news that he immediately offered Jesus his own pro model gloves that will let the stigmata blood out but won’t let any snow in.
“Putting the nail holes in the boots is proving a little tricky, but we are getting there,” said Shameless yesterday. “It’s a massive honour though. I’ve been a big fan of Jesus since I found out he turns water into vodka and is slamming that sweet-ass ho Mary. Dude knows how to party!”
Can’t wait to see you on the hill Jesus!